Liane

A rap for my big sister Lilli.

You were willing to bear witness to my crap rap shows
Applauded till I felt like an Xzibit and Coolio combo
You loved the snow and stormy weather
You and nature were birds of a feather
Runner and unfettered for the better
Never did I ever think we'd lose you forever
The revered falling to a scummy bloodletter

I considered revenge but you were one to defend
If a man did wrong, you told him to repent
That to resent was time poorly spent
Summer out the winter of our discontent
I used to think you naive, to some extent
Until I saw you bury a proxy alive in cement
Even though after you lamented and relented
Looked at you different, but I still loved you a hundred percent.

It took your grave
To realise the mistakes I made
I always hated and debated whether to say it
Of all us ill-fated, you were best I knew
There wasn't a single situation you couldn't improve
Walking with me down the starlit avenue
Told me there was no prayer that God has no answer to
But these days, He needs more angels, so He took you

I feel a guarding presence
Giving me strength
All the things you did in life
A familiar light
It lets me fight these demons away
It lets me know that if I pray,
I can do the right thing someday

Cynthia

Liane is going to be harder for me to write about, so I'm just devoting a few words to Cyn.

It's not like Cyn was the love of my life, or my soul mate, I'll be honest. But I didn't just lose a girlfriend - two parents lost a daughter, and her brother lost a sister, her cousins lost a cousin. This being what makes a fuckin tragedy a fuckin tragedy to begin with.

I will say I was lucky that she ever looked twice at me. I don't even know if she truly liked me all that much. She never liked herself much either. Maybe 'cause people picked on her, since she was fat. Didn't even matter, she was gorgeous; God knows she could have done far better than a deadbeat Timberwolf. She were always pretty mean-tempered, but whatever, it's not like I'm Mr Benevolence myself.

(Yeah, the girls who date me have low self esteem. Figures. I don't fuckin know if they find me, or if I find them.)

Actors

Actors was the hacker. I'm so sick of his bullshit. Trynna play this whole Jack The Ripper thing. Like, does he think the Ripper was a fucking joke? NO! The Ripper was a fucked up piece of no good classless shit who murdered innocent whores. Yet people  think he's some kind of ducking fascinating myth type thing. He thinks my fears and life style are a fucking joke, just some random stupid inspiration for him.

Fuck that guy.

He looks at me like I'm a zoo exhibit.

The Funeral Where Nobody Cried.

Judas Priest shirt, little tartan skirt
Gaze won't avert and it hurts
Dance like to devil to a dirge
Gave me an urge, decided I'm having her,
Sneak up like a saboteur
She pushed me away but I ain't easy to deter
Spoke to this girl, said dance crazier, give us a twirl

Tänään,
I'm almost a man
But I shirk thinking on that shit;
Thoughts won't avert and it hurts,
To think we could make it work,
Now I'm irked, these fucking jerks
Lurk with their smirks, makes me berserk
Call off the search, on my personal shit
You already got enough to besmirch my name with
What's your game, anyways?
I laid it out on the table and I stayed in my place
I tried to keep a straight face while you fuckers debase
Disgrace and deface my time in this servant rat race
Proxy or wolf, I don't give two fucks
I'mma still gut you like a fucking fattened duck
Throw you down, stuck in the muck
Here's a kiss from my fist, pucker up
Checkmate, I'll flick open the gun case
Give your fave bitch three bullets again, to the face,
Make sure she's dead this time
Make sure the bitch is wrecked this time
Make sure that bitch's brains go fly
Make sure she's fixed with formaldehyde
That bitch victim at the funeral where nobody cried.